Monday, February 25, 2013

Oh Happy Day!

Today makes one year for us as a little family! Oh happy day!!! I'm not sure why but it feels like such an accomplishment to have made it through our first year together :)

Here are some pictures from our "gotcha day" last year.

Phoebe Kate with her first dad before heading to PauP.
Our friend, Chrisnet, took Phoebe Kate to his sisters in PauP where they fed her, bathed her, and got her ready to meet me. Those sweet pink ribbons and that dress.... Oh my. She looked so precious! 
Flying into PauP last year was one of the most exciting but nerve wrecking moments of my life. I was so thrilled to be walking the path that the Lord had set before me but I was scared. I was nervous for us.  I was nervous about the transition that we would both experience... knowing that Phoebe Kate's transition would be full of loss, confusion, and fear. 

Adoption is beautiful. Redemptive. God's idea. But it is SO. VERY. HARD. Phoebe Kate had no idea what was going on. She was scared. I mean wouldn't you if someone had just taken you away from your home(orphanage), friends, nannies... and everything that was familiar to you? 

She walked up to me at the airport and held her arms up almost as if she were relieved to see me. She held on so tight. When we got into the car she began to cry and whispered "can you take me back to the orphanage?". My heart sank. I tried to console her the only way I knew how... sing to her. So much was going through my mind as I sang and watched her little eyes close as she drifted off to sleep. Phoebe Kate had indeed been rescued, but she didn't see it as a rescue. To her it was loss of everything she had known. And while I knew that this was ultimately what was best for her that still did not change the element of loss and grief that she was walking through. -- During that long 2 hour commute to our final destination I began to understand our Father's heart for me as his daughter in a way I had never before. How many times in my life have I been so overwhelmed with the loss and grief that I couldn't see that God was leading me into His best for me? I don't think He discredits our loss and grief... but very much like the mother of a scared little girl... wants to comfort us and reassure us that we are loved and in His hands. 

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out-
plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."
Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message)

This picture was taken February 26, 2012.
 My how we have come so far in just one year my sweet girl!
 I cannot wait to see what 2013 will hold for us :) 

Happy One Year, my Phoebe Kate! You are with your forever family and we love you so! I am hopeful for what the Lord will continue to do in our lives in 2013 and as we embark on our 2nd year as a family. Even though we are not seen as a family legally at this time, I love you more than I ever thought I could love another person and I am committed to be your mommy in Haiti, in the US, or wherever else the Lord takes us :)

1 comment:

  1. So amazing...grace! Love you so, Jess and Phoebe Kate!
    Aunt Leslie