I look back on the last blog post that I made on May 21 and
all I can say is that I am so thankful to be a child of the King! Our world was
turned upside down on May 24 and I feel like I am just now catching my breath.
I have written this blog over and over in my head and each
time it doesn’t seem to come out right or adequately explain the situation I
find myself in. So I have resolved to write it, post it, and let it go.
On May 24 the Lord made it very clear that I was no longer
supposed to be on staff at Respire Haiti. Clear as mud. A huge step of faith
was required to leave my life in the United States and start a life in Haiti
but it was an even bigger step of faith to pack every material possession that
I owned, take my child (who cannot leave the country), and go to the capital
city of Haiti to see what our next step would be. I have never felt such a
heavy burden of not knowing. The emotions that I battled on May 24 and many
days after cannot even be put into words. The only thing that I could cling to
is that our God is so faithful. He is faithful when I am not and He is faithful
even when my world seemed as though it was falling apart.
I came to Haiti in March assuming I would work with Respire
Haiti for 5 + years to open the Medical Clinic and Birth Center for the
community of Gressier. At first I begged and pleaded with God to help me
understand how I could misunderstand Him so badly. How could I have
misunderstood?? It had to be a misunderstanding, right? I mean I left my whole
life to come to Haiti to devote my life to do this… and then 2 months later I
am no longer even on staff at Respire? I blamed myself for misunderstanding.
I’m not sure at what point I stopped believing that lie but
eventually I did allow the Father to give me some divine perspective. I still
don’t understand why this happened. Why I came to Haiti prepared to do one
thing and not even 2 months after my arrival that I would be in a place where I
literally had no idea what I was supposed to do anymore. But one thing that I
have felt the Father speak to my heart is that His ways are not mine nor are
His thoughts my thoughts. I no longer believe the lie that the enemy wants me
to… that I did not hear God correctly and that I made a huge mistake moving to
Haiti. I choose to believe that God works ALL things together for the good of
those who love Him and are called according to His purpose and for those He
foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His son so that He
might be the first born among many brethren (Romans 8:28). I can’t see the
bigger picture right now but from the very center of my being I believe that
God is using this situation to bring Phoebe and I exactly to where we need to
be in Haiti, He is working everything thing out for our good, and He is making
us more like Jesus.
The entire way through this valley I have seen God’s
faithfulness, provision, and His unfailing love. I could have never planned for
Mary Kate to be with me in Haiti during that time, but He knew that I would
need her and she was there with me during some of the hardest days of my life.
The encouragement and support that I have received from family, friends,
co-workers, and even total strangers has been overwhelming in a beautiful way.
The kindness of the Barlow’s for allowing Phoebe and I to stay with them during
this time of transition is a direct result of God’s provision for our
lives. Christin flew into Haiti
and immediately took over caring for Phoebe so that I could recover from an
awful virus. He is so faithful, my friends!
Over the last month I have spent time praying and seeking
God to provide an opportunity for me to serve and use my gifts. After many
gracious offers I have decided to take a short term internship with World
Orphans. (www.worldorphans.org) This
means that Phoebe and I will be staying with Ted & Rebecca Barlow and the
rest of their crew and that I will be joining them in caring for orphans here
in Port-au-Prince and the surrounding cities. World Orphans works first and
foremost through the local church here in Haiti and partners with them to
provide training, education, and empowerment to live out the Gospel of Jesus.
World Orphans believes in partnering in a holistic manner and is moving towards
sustainability with every project they begin. This is a model that I feel
aligns with my personal convictions and … well… it works. Starting in July I
will be partnering with them to do some research and possibly implement the
idea of adding midwifery care to this holistic approach. I don’t know of a
better tool to add to World Orphans armory than to train Haitian women to
provide midwifery care in their communities so that the numbers of maternal
deaths decrease.
Starting in August I will also be volunteering with Project
Medishare. (www.projectmedishare.org)
Project Medishare is Haiti’s only critical care and trauma hospital in the
entire country. It’s located centrally in PauP and is not far from where we
live. I met with their Chief Nursing Officer mid June and I will be
volunteering 2-3 shifts a week and will work with their Emergency Room staff.
Some of the main things I will focus on is helping improve their triage process
as well as training some of their ER nurses in emergency midwifery skills.
Right up my alley!
Also I will be trying to start and complete the adoption
process for my daughter, Phoebe. I have spent the last month trying to get all
of her paperwork in order, meeting with government officials, and seeking
guidance as to what my next step will be. It is clear that the adoption process
must start but our situation is different because Phoebe is not living in an
orphanage and I already have legal guardianship of her. We are praying for God
to make a roadway in the wilderness as we continue on this journey.
My heart is here in Haiti. I see airplanes fly overhead
everyday and I have no desire to be on them. I feel honored to be given the
opportunity to serve the Haitian people and to be their neighbor. So it is here
in Haiti that I will stay and serve until the Lord leads somewhere else :) I
need your love, support, and encouragement more now than ever. And I am totally
excited about where the Lord is guiding us every day. His Kingdom come, His
will be done… on earth as it is in Heaven.
I know many of you have supported me financially and if you
have any questions about your contribution you can email me at jessicarenaewilliamson@gmail.com.
I would be happy to answer any questions and direct you to where finances can
be donated at this time if you feel lead to give again.
Now for a little bit of an update on Phoebe:
 |
| Mommy and Phoebe on her 3rd birthday |
Phoebe turned 3 on June 20!!!! She is continuing to grow and is thriving in our new environment. My love for her grows every day as does my patience :) She is becoming more and more like a child and less and less self-sufficient. We praise the Lord daily for small and large victories and are excited about this new journey!
